Mystery

The greatest mystery to me...is myself. I sometimes don't know why I react certain ways or why I can't just deal with things. After being alone with myself for so long I have overcome the lonliness and when people suddenly come around its like walking out into the sun after months of darkness. I can't stand the light and have to hid in darkness again. Eventually I come out but when I come outside I find the sun is hidden behind clouds and I'm once again in the shadows. The sun won't stay out for me, the sun wont wait. People don't wait. I've been feeling this lately. There's a great guy I know and I'm afraid of that light that he might offer because its not what I'm used to. I need to be in my comfort zone right now at this point of my life, yet like I said before; the light won't wait and people don't wait.

Standing in a room with hundreds of other people and I'm still alone. I'm sure you have felt this same way. Interesting isn't it? I feel so alone in this concept and I'm not.
Sometimes I feel that when I have these moments of sadness and despair I try to create something to express myself. Recently whenever I start something it turns out ugly and pointless. I saw the movie Sucker Punch, suprisingly it was a very insightful movie about personal turmoil. About diving into the layers of yourself to protect you against the ugliness of the world.

This was a bit of a self pity moment I had. Enjoy.